“If there is any one thing for which to judge a man, it is his family.” —Ebuka Onyekwelu
Two days ago, which happened to be the last Sunday of the year 2024, I had a very interesting experience of spending a real-time, devoid of any makeover, with Sir Paul Chukwuma. On that day, Chidalu, Sir Paul’s younger brother dedicated his first son who happened to be his fifth child, after his first four baby girls. So, it was a moment of joy and thanksgiving. But it offered me a great chance to see Sir Paul Chukwuma, unedited. In the Igbo worldview, if you don’t know someone up to his home, you don’t know that person. I suspect that this is because, for many reasons, a man’s attitude towards his family tells all the basic truths and deep convictions of that man.
Beyond family, a man’s attitude to his faith speaks to the depths of his values and morals. This is so important that a leader should be assessed by his attitude and dedication to his family and also his commitment to his professed faith. Whether a leader will succeed or fail does not really depend on the articulation of fine ideas as his policies or how well they have been laid out. A leader’s success depends upon a strong personal commitment to family and a general conviction about life and his community guided by his values and morals which were engineered by his faith. This is why Prof. Kingsley Moghalu, President of the African School of Governance observed that “Development begins in the mind, not in the GDP delusion. It begins with unified national/societal ambition, values (such as real accountability), and organization to implement plans effectively.” This therefore points to the overwhelming reality that good governance depends upon basic attitudes towards such important institutions as family and upon one’s values. For someone like Sir Paul Chukwuma who narrowly escaped priesthood, possessing the right values and morals might appear natural to him. But, it is never so.
The first interesting thing I noticed was that at 46 years old, Sir Paul Chukwuma already has grown undergraduate children. Even more significant is that given his social standing, it is also now uncommon for children of people in his economic and social bracket, especially those from the Southeast, to understand Igbo or, worse still, to speak the Igbo language. But Sir Paul and his beautiful wife, Ify, did something differently. Their children do not only understand Igbo, they also speak Igbo fluently. They sang Igbo songs along with the congregation during the service. Looking at them, they wear the full looks and appearance of well-groomed children, unbothered by the ‘modernity’ craze that is shaking up parts of the global north where they live and school. This certainly speaks to the very strong family values that have been imparted to them. Sir Paul’s wife, Lady Ify; a woman of immense beauty and grace; left no doubt that she had modeled the values her daughter proudly carried with them. Lady Ify was exceptionally warm to their visitors and her daughters helped to serve drinks to visitors. These are rarities in the homes of Nigerians of the Chukwuma’s social standing.
I also saw for the first time, Sir Paul Chukwuma’s mother; a woman of incredulous faith and love. She approached the Church’s altar many times and knelt in worship and appreciation. Finally, she lay down flat to honour and appreciate her God. That is surely a godly woman. Beyond her faith, when I first saw her, she greeted me warmly without knowing who I was. I quickly responded in kind, with utmost respect, without knowing who she was. Back in her son’s house, she was there serving with absolutely no air of arrogance or the slightest feeling of anything other than the overpowering candor she showed that she was only honoured to serve visitors in her son’s house.
At the St. Mark’s Catholic Church in Nneyi, Umueri, right in the Church during the service was its biggest financier, seated with no iota of superiority. Instead for about three hours, I observed a man of forthrightness, a devoted family man, and a man who loves God with his entire being; a man filled with gratitude and compassion for people. When the presiding priest called for the regular greeting, Sir Paul and his wife did not exchange a handshake, they exchanged a hug. He equally exchanged hugs with his kids. By every standard, this is a model family in these troubled times. Chidalu his younger brother, also did not exchange a handshake with him, they also exchanged a hug. These are certainly not for the cameras, but from the heart, showing values that enhance trust, accountability, commitment, love, and dedication, which are beyond legislation, but are essential in governance.
Chukwuma was in Church till the end. He didn’t storm out like many people do, because they have other things to attend to. Also, he gave handsomely towards the Church’s bazaar, but he did not stop there. He celebrated Christmas with all the families that attended the Church service to their excitement and delight, marking a complete worship experience for them in the last Sunday of the year.
In my personal reflection thereafter, I concluded that if there is any one thing for which to judge a man, it is his family. A man’s family reflects his highest personal standards. But if there is a second thing with which to judge him, it is his values and it is not hard to see. When a man’s personal life and values align, he excels and achieves what the Holy Bible calls “good success.” Beyond policy statements and ideas, “A fundamental reason for Africa’s condition of underdevelopment is the absence of a worldview,” Prof. Kingsley Moghalu argued in his book “Emerging Africa.” The far-reaching implications are that beyond the brilliance of playing with ideas and policies, a leader’s values and cosmovision are not just crucial, but fundamental in governance trajectory and development prospects for any organized society.
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