My grandmother, the Late Ezinne, Mrs. Grace Nwosu, a woman of valor, who passed away on December 19, 2023, at the age of 98 years, lived a life of enormous inspiration. With the blessing of old age, we are privileged to experience her exceptional courage and values of hard work. Madam Grace Nwosu’s demise is the end of an era for the entire family and the immediate community. It is therefore necessary, that the core ideals and virtues that she held on to which saw her through, are revisited so that the young and living, are not lost in the inanities of modernity during challenging times or the convenient excuses that life’s challenges readily offer. Madam Nwosu’s life was a bold testament that a gracious triumph can defeat life’s difficulties and brute misfortune. In about two weeks, Peter Obi, a friend of the family for many years, Chief Emma Bishop Okonkwo, also a friend of the family for many years, senators, and many others, will stand with Chief, the Rt. Hon. Barr. Benchuks Nwosu her son and the family in Nnewi, to pay her the last respect. But it was a long laborious, but rewarding journey.
With little education, Madam Grace was brave to surmount incredible difficulties, especially upon the death of her husband, my grandfather, Chief Vincent Anukwonke Nwosu, who died at the age of 47 years, in 1966. With four little children left in her care, what lay ahead of her was abundantly obvious to her, but she was unwavering and, in the end, she was victorious.
Madam Grace Nwosu, popularly called Nne Rosa, was my grandmother. My mother, Mrs. Rose Onyekwelu (Rosa) is her only daughter. She altogether had four surviving children; three boys and one girl. Before her marriage, she had lived with her uncle who was a nurse in the colonial days and as a result exposed to different parts of Nigeria as her uncle was transferred to different parts of the country in colonial and later, independent Nigeria. In consequence, mama spoke all major Nigerian languages – Igbo, Hausa and Yoruba. Her young adventurous life and later, marriage to an ex-military man who later worked at the Nigerian Railway Corporation in Enugu looked great until tragedy struck and she was widowed. Upon the untimely death of her husband at 47 years in 1966, she was faced with the sole responsibility of raising her four children alone amidst the unfriendly realities of those days. As a woman of incredible valor, she refused to be betrothed, or better, acquired by any relative of her late husband under the traditional practice of the time, in which a widow is required to be taken in marriage, by a relative of her late husband after one full year of mourning her deceased husband. She vehemently stood against this practice and instead opted to stay with her four young children and raise them. Her deviance from this traditional practice was sufficient to earn her more hostility among some of those who would have assisted but needed some personal reward for possessing her. Yet, she was focused. The difficulty this posed to her is only better imagined. But Mama insisted she preferred to honor the memory of her husband and also remain with her four children and raise them. She understood the far-reaching implications of remarrying and chose to remain with her children, a rather more difficult choice and one that is by every strand of imagination sacrificial. But she stayed with it, unbowed and unbroken. Life would always present us with various choices.
In 1967 when the civil war started, it became even more difficult. She then rose to the challenge and mobilized her two young children; Chief, the Rt. Hon. Barr. Benchuks Nwosu, and Mrs. Rose Onyekwelu, for the war and they won. At the time, her first son, Chief David Nwosu, had proceeded to apprenticeship. The last one, Mr. Okey Nwosu, was too young at about just barely two years old. So, Benchuks at about nine years and Rose at about eleven years, joined her to travel from Nnewi to Nsugbe or Nzam in what is a highly risky venture in the Nigeria-Biafra civil war days called “Afia Attack.” Both Benchuks and Rose, carried wares on their heads to travel from Nnewi to Nsugbe and back, a journey of not less than 44 kilometers times two or Nzam; a journey of at least 74 kilometers multiplied by two, with mama, and upon successful transaction, on return, they buy food items for the family’s survival. This was how Mama and her two young children defeated the civil war, under Mama’s headship. And so, the desperation, disease, and chaos of the war that exacerbated the family’s misfortune imposed by the tragedy of their father’s sudden demise, submitted to Mama’s audacious command.
At the end of the civil war, her former business naturally came to a halt. So, she started “Nni Afia” or food vending in Nnewi. With that, she was able to feed her children and pay their school fees. Again, Rosa and Benchmarks were partners in the new business, waking up as early as 5 am every day to prepare for each day and also go to school. At some point when it was no longer necessary for her to continue the food vending business, she still did it and refused to let go. Mama was a woman of immense honor and exemplary dignity with an excellent work ethic. Her children later revolted and forced her to stop the business because of stress and old age.
Yet, she was not done. She quickly started another business of making agile, a critical ingredient for making delicious traditional soups, which she learned from her mother, Nne, whom I knew as an agile maker, as a young boy. In truth, Mama at that point did not need any business of her own as her children were more than enough to take care of her. But she kept doing her business and was quickly reputed for her quality ogili. We were part of this ogili business of hers at some point. Mama motivates us with biscuits and other gifts to pick the ogili seed for her and remove the shell. We did this joyfully. Thinking about this now, it is clear that Mama didn’t need the business but she did it because she needed to work for her own money based on her values and conviction. She needed financial independence and knew she had to meet her needs by herself, help others by herself, and do as much as she wanted without relying on her children or others. It was from this business that she gave financial assistance to her grandchildren or pocket money to us when we were due to return to school. It had to be her money, as one cannot do charity with other people’s money. I recall vividly how Mama often fetched udala- star apple, for us and kept it, and if in a day or two we failed to come by, she packed the udala and brought it to us. She did this faithfully for many years till the udala tree gave way to development. Mama was an avid giver.
Mama’s life was a beautiful testimony of faith in God, with daily fasting, absolute dependence on God, dedication to duty, and determination. By Mama’s example, it is correct to say that human beings can pull through all difficulties when they are determined and courageous believing that what they do, big or small, will make a lot of difference and eventually give them victory over all challenges.
We celebrate you, Mama! May your noble soul rest in God’s everlasting light.
He is a Technical Assistant to Governor Willie Obiano’s Special Adviser on Legislative Matters, whoonce was a Special Adviser to a former Deputy Speaker of Anambra State House of Assembly. Ebuka is a second class upper division graduate of Political Science from University of Calabar, Calabar Nigeria and holds a Masters Degree in Political Science with specialization in Government and Development Studies, from Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka Nigeria
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