“This Archbishop must truly believe that THE BODY OF CHRIST, is his to grant. I say, screw him.” ―Don Okolo
Sometimes, I find myself thinking the way atheists do. Atheists must have rationalized all tidbits of data their minds feed them before every one of them concluded that there is no God. Neil Degrasse Tyson, the astrophysicist, contends that if one can’t scientifically prove the existence of God, then God does not exist. A brilliant man, this Neil Degrasse Tyson, but a dumbass.
The only problem with the workings of atheists’ minds is that they stopped their minds from truly working; their minds are berthed in that obscure, long-winded miasma of shallow waters, and/or, on landscapes too convoluted to navigate the deeper niches and crannies where the mind itself would seem lost trying to search out intricate truths to form an opinion; hence, their minds are not deeply entrenched.
These people want provable, scientific data to augment insufferable reveries. The materials they need to hem together, the mystical tapestry of everything incomprehensible and Divine, are all staring them in their faces. What has held them back from making that leap of faith has always been pride, and that bluster they carry around their necks: Intellectuals. Literati. Academician. Philosophers, and Scholar Extraordinaire. Any one of these is the curse for their faithlessness…and the devil is all too happy about that. They have chosen to cower when faced with incomprehensible, unfathomable theories, conjectures, and the ever-powerful mystery about causes and effects.
This is where Salvatore Cordileone, the San Francisco prelate with the robe on, the garb of sanctity, that qualifies one to hear confessions, play God if you will, comes in. This Archbishop must truly believe that THE BODY OF CHRIST, is his to grant. I say, screw him. I am writing this watching all sides of me, afraid to anger God. I asked my son to stay away from me till I was done writing this piece about the purported man of God…just in case, God was to strike me down. But I know that God knows precision and that His weapon of choice would supremely, surreptitiously, and conveniently avoid collateral damage to spare my son. Hello!
I am a dyed-in-the-wool-Catholic. Altar boy. Latin trained. At ten, hungry, I slipped into the Sacristy one Saturday morning and fed my face with the yet-to-be-consecrated wafers. To this day, I am still asking God to forgive me for chowing down on the bread that would have been offered to Him. It didn’t end there: Still, at ten years of age, at the same Church in Portharcourt, (Christ The King Church) I left class one morning (The primary school was next door) and walked onto the Church’s grounds and into the Sanctuary. I have always seen this one kobo on the window sill, the kobo with the small hole in it. I had to steal that one kobo to buy me roasted groundnuts at breaktime. I have yet to return that one kobo to God. That one kobo is worth a cool five dollars today.
I thought you should know that before I would continue with my rant on Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone. This man must be sinless. He must be without sin to throw the gauntlet at Speaker Nancy Pelosi who is following her party’s platform…who is even more Catholic than Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone. She could be more of an ardent follower of Jesus Christ and the Catholic faith than this Prelate, who could have had his share of misdeeds, and could have violated the vow of celibacy since his ordination. Just like that Archbishop in Zimbabwe, who made a living criticizing strongman Mugabe. He lived to regret it. Mugabe had his men enter the Archbishop’s residence and wire it up…sound and all. A few days after the rigging was done, this Zimbabwean Archbishop was filmed having sex…well, with a woman. These are just some of the acts that boggle the mind that these so-called men of God are guilty of.
In the first place, ex-communicating a person from the Catholic Church, or denying them communion for a particular sin against God is preposterous…outrageous. The separation of Church and State is in the constitution. Do you know this, my lordship? Unless the Archbishop is theorizing about a Theocracy, he should mind his diocese, and maybe, tweet on the sacrilege of molesting altar boys by priests, and/or seek out that Louisiana priest caught doing a woman on the Altar of God. That’s who Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone should ex-communicate. He should deny communion to this Louisiana Priest and Leave Nancy Pelosi alone. It is the hypocrisy of the Catholic Church that I bemoan. To treat The Body of Christ, hold it in that classical abandon manner, as one would hold a tuber of yam and a knife before a congregation standing in line, waiting for a slice of that yam, is the demeaning factor about this prelate’s assumption that he is God’s point man; if I cut you a slice, that’s when you get to eat. Even in his colorful robes, even as he is of the order of Mechlesadek, Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone is Italian and eats pasta for lunch on most days…an allegorical quip that he is human. His pronouncement, the finality in his condemnation is offensively palpable and smacks of authoritarianism. I will determine who goes to Heaven. Screw you, Salvatore Cordileone. The Robe, the Cloth, and the Vestment you wear were popularized by Cayaphas (Caiaphas) each time he entered the Holy of Holies in the Temple in Jerusalem on the days of the Passover feast. It is nothing new, nothing extraordinary, in my view. High Priest Cayaphas wore it in the days he plotted to decapitate the Body of the same man you are trying to deny to His most adorable servant. Shame on you, you hypocrite. Why don’t you listen to the Pontiff: The Body of Christ is for sinners. You, the appointed shepherd, should not tweet about the perceived insubordination of the flock. But you did…you son of…well, God. How could you have succumbed so low, to play in this trough where lesser mortals play? On Twitter? About the misgivings of a parish member? If a priest be foul, in whom do we trust? Have you ever heard about that particular remark by Geoffrey Chaucer? You are not as holy as you think. Hell is packed with Priests, Bishops, Archbishops, and even Popes. Dante Alighieri said so. In plain street jargon; cut the crap. You may have to go back and relearn your vows…your calling…especially that one on celibacy.
I am shutting up while I am still ahead. I could cross the line. Afraid to draw God into this. You just never know whose side God is on. But if I ever hear you spouting such nonsensical gobbledygook again, I am turning myself loose…in hopes that I would be able to explain your silliness to the ALMIGHTY…SOMEDAY…
♦ Don Okolo, Professor and filmmaker, is on the Editorial Board of the West African Pilot News. He is the author of many books.
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